We can hardly call this a doom hole because we laugh so damn much...

Jesse and Jenn veer way off the tracks before they even broach the first headline. We meander into the club life of the 80s, Jesse sings Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and Jenn shares about the time she got smacked with a wooden ruler because she was dancing too close with her date at a Mormon function.

Then we dive into the week’s headlines which include Microsoft’s CoPilot and a weird opportunity from Sony.

Links to explore further...

Send a voicemail to the show HERE! (you may be featured in an upcoming episode)

Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Creepy 80s Eternity ad, YouTube

MicroSLOP, Futurism, Victor Tangermann

Ringo Starr makes art with Paintshop Pro

Sony Contest to make yourself a temporary star on a future game without making all that inconvenient money and actual fame

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:03

Fucking clankers. Fucking clankers.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Before we get into your doom pole headline, why aren't you sleeping, Jesse? You need to sleep. Are you just socializing too much with the Substack folks?

SPEAKER_02 0:20

I mean, I guess. Yeah. Get some back in my party mode. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Your podcast mom is like, just lay off and get to bed early tonight.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

I know. I dropped you as uh as my spiritual mother last night on the pot on the uh I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

And the cradle says that's my spiritual.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

I was like, that's my spiritual mother.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I know. I've I'm that for a lot of people. I'm just a mom. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

And like I love when we're scheduling guests and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I'm just like, oh, oh, mom handles that.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

I'm like, uh you gotta ask Jen. I don't make those decisions. I'm just kind of here, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Uh, whatever works, whatever works. We have some great guests coming up on our show, too. I know, and also we're gonna help like uh promote uh Rachel White, our dear friend. Now her book is gonna come out in May, and so we'll be uh, you know, doing a special Doom Hole, even if she's not on with us.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

My sister, she's got a book coming out. I know I'm so excited for it. Business of woo. It's gonna be so good. May 1st. So is it official? I I think that's what she's saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

I think so too.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Yeah, so get your book money ready.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Get your book money ready.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

She's gonna be selling books, and if you don't have one, you're gonna like feel left out.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Yeah, we want you to be abundant, also.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yes, we need you to, we need all of you out there to be abundant.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yep, exactly. No more scarcity.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Jen, you know, we just we we we we're recording a doom hole and we just recorded another thing, and Jen's got my brain on 90s music now. Just give it to us. She dropped the crash test dummies.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

It takes us less out of the doom and less out of the hole, you know.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Istanbul was Constantinople now. It's Istanbul, now Constantinople been a long time gone. Constantinople now's Turkish delight on a moonlit night. You know that one, Jen?

SPEAKER_00 2:34

No, I'm just trying to place it.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

You don't know that one? I don't think so. Uh, every gal in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople. So if you have a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Well, who is that?

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Wait, that sounds so familiar. Yeah, that's the that's the uh they might be giants.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Oh, I know they might be giants.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah. Even old New York was once new Amsterdam. I remember the first time I heard that was like, Am I on drugs?

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Yeah, that's what it makes you feel like.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

I'm like, I don't even I don't even take drugs.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

No, I didn't either. And yeah, I found them in the 80s, thanks to an ex-boyfriend at the time, artist student who will not be named, but he looks like the guy from the bear. If you watch that, he looks like the head chef from that exactly, only with black hair. Ken, look at you. You you know, you had an interesting dating history. I really did. It wasn't just and I love them, but it wasn't just guys that um wanted to buy me pizza that had name tags on their work shirts, which was very sweet. They a lot of men wanted to buy me pizza, a lot of them. I mean, uh, I like free pizza. I do too. I know.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

I mean, uh I mean, they knew how to get me doesn't sound like a bad deal.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

I know, and then the stripper took me to steak. I didn't know he was a stripper at the time. He didn't strip for he stripped for the steak.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

I wasn't most stripper in the bar. I wasn't most stripper. That was a uh that was a club thing in the uh like in the night in the really nice. I wasn't stripper, I wasn't most stripper in a go-go bar. I wasn't real stripper in a go-go bar. Yeah. Um you don't remember that one? No, they used to mix it a lot of times with uh Adam Ann with uh strip for you, baby. Strip for me, yeah. They mix those together in the club all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

And uh wow, you are just it, these parties, these substack parties, what you're bringing to them, they have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Yeah, I used to uh I you know I used to DJ a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Oh, that's so fun. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I used to DJ a little bit. I got in trouble. I feel like when I was in high school, when I was in high school, I we uh I I used to me and my buddy used to DJ at the they had football games at the Methodist Church after, or they had uh dances at the at home games after at the Methodist Church. We were in high school. We used to DJ them.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

You had to watch what you played probably there, though. You couldn't have cuss words.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

I mean we we uh we played the Humpty Dance one time and we kind of did, yeah, and they got big trouble. Yeah, well no, they came over and they were like, hey, uh, can we kind of fade out of this one? We're like, yeah, sure, no problem.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Did you ever go to a dance at a Mormon, um, like a Mormon thing? Because we had a lot of Mormons in um eastern Washington, and we uh, you know, a lot of our friends were athletes, and so they have these really cool intramural programs, and then you go to a dance afterwards and they go around with this this wooden ruler and they go bing, bang, bang, bang, bang between you and your date as you were dancing, so that you'd have to be like arm's length away, and they bang, bing, bang, they hit you, hit you with the wooden ruler. So you missed out on that.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

I feel like that I feel like in the wrong context, that could that could set up some very bad fetishes in the future for uh anyone who got smacked like that while we try advanced.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Okay, and if you are a victim of that or whatever, you can also do you know that people can voicemail our show now and they can be on the show, so you can text us and voicemail us. Yeah, you have to go to our Buzz Sprout. Um, it's Buzz Sprout Curious Cat, and I'll put the links in the show notes in case you're listening to it why don't you guys send us voicemail?

SPEAKER_02 6:36

They can I would play this the Humpty Dance at Jo Tang.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Did you find your uh your headline?

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

I mean your singing isn't great. You know what we did?

SPEAKER_02 6:49

So we faded out of the Humpty Dance and we faded into relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Oh, if you don't know, uh if you don't know what that's about, um it's a lot of it has a lot to do with uh homosexual sexual activities and uh masturbation. So uh and they had no clue. They were just like, relax, all you know, all the sponsors, you know, they were just like relax. They're like, oh yeah, this is so much better.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

I was like, now I want to wear a white sweatshirt with giant.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

As far as what you guys are into, this is so much worse, but okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Uh-huh. Where are you gonna go? Yeah, relax, don't do it.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

I can never understand the words to things, and so I always I'm that like if you've seen an ad where they mess up the words to things, there's a TikTok uh dad that does that too. That's me. It's like um for years it was like that sting song over the fields a body. And I thought it was about a murder, like a you know, true detective moment, over the fields a body.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

And it it is I don't know this song, I'm a huge sting fan. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Fields of fields of gold, but he says, and it's I don't even know what the real words are, but it I always go took my love, that one. Yeah, I thought was took my life, and then it was over the over the fields a body, and so that it always went dark for me, so I always get it back, don't stand so well, not police up close to me. Bananana, I just had two ducks land in my yard. There's a male and a female, and they're underneath my favorite tree, and they're just looking at the view. Oh, that was so cute, and then now they're preening their feathers. It was Frankie Goes to Hollywood that attracted them. Boom, boom, hey yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:50

That's a great album, by the way. Just letting you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

We'll link to it in the show notes. Yeah, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

They did, and Kubla Khan did Xanadu. And Xana do did Kubla Khan, a pleasure dome decree.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Now people think you're probably doing some sort of spell casting.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

It's not I am, I am. I'm oh yeah, I've I've just mixed uh Samuel Taylor Coleridge and uh the gay club. Love this doom hole because the gay club scene from the late 80s. I've mixed that together for you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

And if you loved it, you can hit us up with Buy Me a Coffee. And we've decided that the Buy Me a Coffee fund is all going to Jesse and his barn sale purchases. That's that that's do it.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

That's inaccurate. It's it goes for research the show where I buy like weird books at the barn store.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Oh, that sounds so much more academic. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

I know, and it sounds like I can write that shit off. I just told you, you totally can. Fuck me on my tax.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

What does AI TurboTax say? You can yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Oh, I don't know. But um, I didn't I didn't use the AI part, but I did use the TurboTax.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Oh, that now the ducks are eating my grass in the yard. That is so sweet. I feel so happy. It's fucking ducks. We better do one article, at least get us one article. I mean, I guess we have the happiest doom hole ever.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

I'm trying to find the new doom holes. Let's see.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Oh, yeah, because a lot of them, like we've talked about.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Hey, uh boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Oh, now there's some squirrel drama because the squirrel came down. It was he's like defending his territory.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Aren't you only saying that like we're we're we're we need special interest on this show? Yeah, that's what that's what we're doing right now. That is talking about ducks and squirrels, and like I'm and clubs. I'm talking about homosexual club hits from the late 80s exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Okay, uh you know, it's okay to say the word gay, also. It's alright, yeah. No, I know. I mean, I'm not uh no, I know you're not. I just think it's feels so formal, like loosen it up.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Well, I feel you know what it I mean. The the the clubs, you know, they brought me a lot of joy, so yeah, me too. Keep it formal. Yeah, that's sweet.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Those old club hits are you know, remember how you get all dressed up and look so nice for the club stuff. Yeah, see, that used to be a whole thing, it was your Z Cavarici, and everybody stinking a like dracard noirs, exactly how and and the on the women's side, eternity.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

It was like we were so thick with eternity, girls smelling like cigarettes, like uh like uh clove cigarettes, yeah. Marlboro lights and clove cigarettes and uh body spray from the fucking bath, but uh what was that place? Bath and body works.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Bath and beyond. Yeah, no, Bath and Body Works, yeah, it was. Remember Bath and Body Works? They're still around.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Oh, they are, yeah, yeah. You could you could just roll in there and get you some spray. You'd be like, I gotta go to the club. I need some spray. And some girl like wearing like uh gingham, you know, with a basket, and be like, Yeah, okay, I gotcha. We'll have our thing. We'll get you some spray. That's right. I gotta mask the cigarettes and the clove.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Blue and white. It was like blue and white gingham. Did you ever have a clove face? No, I only no, only like once or twice. We had a friend, the one that looked like the lead singer of the cure, and he was big into those. After a certain point of being drunk, he would pull out the clove cigarettes and we'd all like take a drag on the clove cigarettes, and then it'd make my lips numb. And so I was done.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

I got your old ID, and you're all dressed up like the cure. I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

He was our friend.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Um, yeah, we had a we had a we had a fancy cigarette phase. You remember? And they would be like, You shouldn't smoke those because they'll put glass in your lungs. Yeah, I remember that. You remember that? And they would they would tell you that like the clothes are extra dangerous. They'll put yeah, and I'm like, didn't they? Didn't this what the the wise dudes brought to Jesus? You know what I mean? Like uh, how did that kill you? Are you saying they were trying to put glass in baby Jesus' lungs? What's the matter with you?

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Those people, they just weren't cultured, they were trying to keep, you know what? They were afraid of a clove cigarette shortage. That was all propaganda.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

We had a locker in in film school, like it was nothing but just like a fucking bar and like full of cigarettes and shit.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Yeah, it is so great. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Like me and my buddy worked in an art office, and like we've just signed ourselves our own that we had lockers because you know it was all art classes in that building. Yeah, so you had to have someplace to put your shit, you know. Right. So we just we assigned ourselves a locker that we turned into like basically a wet bar. This is so you open that thing up, it's like full of like fucking, you know, it's it's got we got like, you know, it's got every kind of liquor in there.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

You made me forget, but that we were on this like college tour years ago for my younger one who's in grad school now, and we were somewhere and um this girl goes, and that's the bathroom stall. I go, what bathroom stall? She goes, That's a bathroom stall where for the overnight, um, they hid the alcohol in little vials in that toilet. You know, that toilet roll, you know, the giant toilet rolls, they like hid alcohol vials in there for some overnight. And I go, Am I supposed to know about this? She goes, Everybody knows this when they come to this university and that's it. They usually want to take a picture.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Everybody knew about us too, you know, or the like the cool people did, you know. We would on the way to class, we would roll into this place called the Sunshine Mart. They had these big yellow cups. Remember when we used to do those big plastic cups? These big yellow cups, and like we'd fill that thing up like halfway up with like coke or whatever, and then um the rest of it was bourbon when we got to oh my god, and then we'd roll the class. Oh my god, you definitely did. We would sit in the back of we'd sit in the back of the one of those big lecture halls, you know, in in art history class. And uh, so that they were the the and they would they would uh they'd start showing their little slides, you know, and you had all the hardcore, like they were they're all up front, like taking notes and stuff, and right. Oh, look, it's you know, the uh, you know, who whoever, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Gustav Klimpt, or you know, whoever exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Look at all these layers. That's what I loved about art history.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

I know it's great. So we're we're we're up in the we're of course we're up in the crow's nest in the back by the fucking projector. We've both got like huge mixed drinks in these cups. We sit back there, class would get ready to start, we start banging those cans of skull, you know, and uh we'd load up and like oh, it drove them crazy in the front because we were all like film school people, they all they hated us anyway, and so they were just like uh you know, and we'd be like, uh, yeah, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 16:37

When I look at that picture, I don't see that at all. Oh being contrarian just to be contrarian, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

And like, and we were and like I said, we worked in the art office, so we were friends with all the professors, right? Like we'd go to lunch with them and shit, you know what I mean? That's what I was gonna say, is the professor back there with you. You know, and then we come back, you know, and they'd be like, Oh, okay, well, that's a good point. What's your perspective, you know? Because they were like, you know, anybody who's actually engaged in art history class, you know, they're happy about yeah, exactly. They'd be like, Yeah, I don't really see that. I don't think that bird means what that girl says up front.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Oh, well, that's it. Are we even gonna have a headline this week?

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Fuck it. Yeah, let's do one. Let's do one. Victor Tangerman says, Wait, from where? Futurism, everybody. Of course, big Victor from Futurism, who probably did he probably paid a lot more attention in our history class. Although that we were Dean's list. Wow, we're just and and did it on our on merit. Wow, surprisingly enough, we actually uh studied the damn slides. Oh yeah, Microsoft is marked for terms of service that admit co-pilot is for entertainment purposes only. What I seem to feel like over the course of the last year, they've been trying to convince me that like this is how business is done now, you know? And now everybody's way ahead of you. Yeah, now suddenly. Wait, they said it's just for entertainment purposes. Users of Microsoft's Windows have grown frustrated with the company's insistence on stuffing its co-pilot AI chatbot into almost every corner of the widely used operating system, earning it the pejorative nickname of Microslop. I love this nickname. Your old buddies in Redmond are losing their minds right now.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

That's despite Microsoft admitting in its own co-pilot terms of service, and it gives you a link to the official terms of service that Microsoft puts out. That the AI shouldn't be relied upon for virtually any important work.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah, it's a they're playing both sides against the middle. That way they come out on top either way.

unknown 19:10

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Copilot is for entertainment purposes only, the lengthy document reads. It can make mistakes and may not work as intended. Don't rely on co-pilot for important advice. Use copilot at your own risk.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

It says that at your own risk.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

It says that. You know what? If you guys don't believe us, we'll link to the article in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

I promise you. It goes to their look. I'm gonna click the link right now.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah, do I want to know this?

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Oh, it pulls up the official Microsoft.com terms of service page for Copilot. Wow, that is a bizarre self-contradiction, isn't it? Considering how steadfast Microsoft has been in its efforts to stuff Copilot into even simple Windows apps like a Microsoft Paint. I mean, they took paint away from us.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Oh my god, they took you know, they took wasn't there uh didn't Ringo Starr do use Paint Shop Pro to make art for years? I think I think so somebody sound familiar. I think it was Ringo Starr. I will put a link to it in the show notes. A lot of people did, I think. I mean, because it was he became kind of famous for it because he was already fun.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Well, yeah, yeah, it was fun, you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

But they stuffed it into there too.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Yeah, you remember you'd make little uh you you could you'd make you know, you make your little goofy sign before memes were a thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yep. Well, and just to let before I know I'm interrupting you, but if you have Microsoft Word still and it is using the predictive, um, you know, you're you're typing it's predicting what the next word is gonna be. That's AI, guys, and you can turn it off. So go to YouTube and look how to turn it off because you don't want your stuff training, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Oh, I I didn't mean to cut you off, but no, no, not at all in Google too. Yeah, um, the the same thing, it's called Smart Reply in Gmail.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Okay, and you can turn that off also.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

You can turn that off also if you go to the uh official uh the official Microsoft Paint page on their website, yeah. Use Image Creator in Paint to generate AI art. Do you want to create amazing art with just a few words? Try Image Creator in Microsoft Paint, a new feature that lets you collaborate with a powerful AI model called Dolly. I've heard it's not new, Dolly's.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Old that wasn't that one of the first ones? Uh-huh. It was or maybe the first one. It was the first, I thought. Yeah, they did that as a collab. Uh, yeah, open AI.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Doll E can generate diverse and realistic images from any text description you enter. Whether you want to draw a dragon, a unicorn, or anything else, like a what kind of flex is that sentence? It's like, it's how do you just like okay, let's pick two things and then like it will just stack anything else on the thing else, etc. Oh, oh, I know. Okay, uh drag dragons are cool. Can we put dragon? Yeah, okay. All right, dragon's one of them.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

And if it's like an elementary school, what's the other one?

SPEAKER_02 22:44

And then uh a unicorn. Yeah, this girl in the back is like, I really like unicorns. Yep, okay. So say dragons, unicorns, and then anything else.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

They were definitely high or drunk when they wrote these.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Image Creator will help you unleash your creativity and make your own artworks with the help of AI. Jesus God, how far we've fallen.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

We've fallen so far.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Fallen so far.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

We can we can pick ourselves up. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Me personally, it's not a good sign when a company won't stand behind the accuracy of their product. Yeah, one Reddit user noted. If Microsoft doesn't trust Copilot, why should I? Exactly. That's pretty profound for a Reddit comment. Yeah, a third of the entire American economy invested into a technology that's for entertainment purposes only. Another user wrote. Such confidence. I'm sure this will go well.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

I love backslash S.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

If a car came with a warning not to trust it, yeah, and it has no specific purpose or design intent, you wouldn't pay for it. Exactly. Another argument. Okay. Oh my god. I gotta say, those are pretty good for those are pretty good for for uh the the Reddit.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

You know, when you build your set for Doomhole and for um is AI the devil, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Should I use it?

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Should you have some of the you should be able to Velcro up some like quotes like that? That would be great.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Oh, you know what? I should be able to do that. Maybe I'll make it look like a giant smart fridge, yeah. Just like stick uh like and and like stick uh awful AI art up in the uh uh you know on the fridge.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah, I think this could be so good. You might have to use paint chop row to make it.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

No, I don't think so. I can run I can run a can of silver spray paint just fine.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Oh, that's so great. That's an act of rebellion now. Did we just doom hole it?

SPEAKER_02 24:51

That's too uh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so off track.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

That was a happy doom hall.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Was it?

SPEAKER_01 24:58

I think in a way we turned it to happy with all those comments. I can't hear it. Why there we go. Oh, that was so sweet. We use Santa's back, the little Santa.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Thanks, Santa.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

That was a good one. I liked it because it seemed shocking, but at the same time, I feel like we stuck it to the man.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Oh, yeah, we definitely stuck it to the man.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

That was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Sony is starting a weird service that scans people to put them in PlayStation games.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

What? So to make them into their own avatars?

SPEAKER_02 25:41

I mean, I guess. But then they can use it everywhere. This is this is from Engadget.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

Lawrence Bonk is uh Lawrence Bonk, contributing reporter in Engadget. It's uh he's new to the uh to the family. Welcome.

unknown 25:56

Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Sony is starting a weird service that scans people to put them in PlayStation games. Sony just announced a truly strange initiative called The Player Base. This is a program to scan people's likenesses and pop them in PlayStation games. Didn't we just do a thing where Nintendo was using Pokemon Go for years to like map stuff and track people? Track people, yep. I got bad news for anybody who scans their likeness into this thing. Yeah, not only is it gonna know where you live, it's gonna know exactly what you look like.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Yeah, all of it. Yeah, even uh and your background, everything where you live.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

It's even gonna know what you look like as a surly elf. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

You looked at me when you said that. I know I look like a surly elf, okay? I look like a mountain troll. That is true. I love it. I'm a Tommy knocker.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

You're a magical fairy. Stop it. I am programmed to scan people's likenesses and pop them in PlayStation games. That's pretty wild, but potentially cool to those who have always wanted to become a weird humanoid version of Crash Bandicoot.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

That's a very specific fetish.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

All right, all right, all right, hold on here. Okay.

unknown 27:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

You know me, okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Okay, I do. We do by now, don't we?

SPEAKER_02 27:31

Listen, I mean, we we we we just rolled on for 20 minutes about at least, yeah, about Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Yeah, like uh getting smacked by the Mormon stick when you're dancing. Exactly. Okay, I don't I don't judge, okay, but who out there is wanting to become like a who's wanting to put themselves in, not only to put themselves into the crash. Uh first off, I don't really play video games. I don't I I barely know what the fuck a crash bandicoot is. You know, you've no right. I mean, I've seen it before. I know what it is, I know what it looks like. Okay, yes, good, but um uh who in the fuck is doing that, you know Jesus. I want to read their terms. Are you gonna be able to scan yourself and put what's that thing that where everybody plays where they like uh shoot everybody and like steal cards? I guess they try to kill hookers. I don't know what they do. Is are people gonna put themselves into that thing? Probably. Oh my god. The program is ramping up slowly. Sony has announced a contest of sorts to place one lucky fan inside of Grand Turismo 7, guys. Uh Palantir's gonna Palantir's asking you, Sony, please to uh step up your game on this one. Yeah, yeah, they need this data faster than one one one person in Gran Turismo 7 is not gonna be enough. No, uh okay. Where's the evil part of this?

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Other than the I mean the sense of it, I other than where our brain went. Yeah, we need the the are this new journalist to give us the terms of service for strip to Los Angeles to participate in a full body scan, but Sony hasn't said what, if anything, they do with this scan.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

That's the thing, after all, Grand Turismo 7 is a racing game without too many full-bodied models walking around. Fans have a lot of hoops to jump through to be considered for placement. There's a traditional application. Oh, what does the application look like? We'll do we'll have to see if we can't put this up too.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

So we have to because so if any of you out there want to like crash bandicoot yourself, but then also just submitting the application, they're grabbing people's data.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Uh-huh. Share your story, share a special memory using the form below. Make it something from the heart that tells us why PlayStation is important. Oh my god. Get selected and get scanned. A selected player will be invited to be scanned at one of our visual arts studios. And no, we won't make you look like Kratos or Alloy. We want you just the way you are. Okay. I have no idea what that means. Uh, be featured in a game. Your likeness will appear in a game played by millions, and you'll never again struggle when asked for an interesting fact about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Oh, this is so cloying and creepy, isn't it? It's like grooming. This is weird. I hate it. It is so cloying, it's so gross, it's so sticky. I hope people don't do this, but I have a feeling there's people that are like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Oh, people are totally gonna do this.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Uh-huh. Tell us a story from the heart. Tell us your story from the heart.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Now be part of our future. Okay, wait. Frequently asked questions who can enter the player base? Anyone can enter who is at least 18 years of age or the age of majority in your region. With a PlayStation online ID in a participating country territory, just complete the required form. What game could I appear in? The first opportunity is in Gran Turismo 7, where the selected winner will appear in-game for a limited time and will also help design a custom fantasy logo in a one-of-a-kind vehicle. That will okay, whatever the fucking name that means. I don't watch that car racing.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

They'll show it for it'll be for a limited time.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

One of the criteria for choosing. Second round criteria will be judged on a combination of skill-based criteria found in an interview, including how much your interview expresses an authentic love of for PlayStation and details your personal history with the brand.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

How much your interview expresses an authentic love for GT7? How much your interview includes shareable and entertaining content while demonstrating that your story is suitably interesting to make further compelling content. Oh, okay. So they're gonna steal your likeness and they're gonna keep using it in games, and you're basically not gonna get paid any money.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Right. It's gonna feel good though, because you know, it's like the$99 that we pay for other for ancestry.com.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Yeah, you're gonna be like uh grown up, uh, what what was his name? From Magnolia, you know? Yep. Uh exactly. It's like uh uh you know, I was you know, I I was on the quiz show. It was fucking uh oh goddamn, what's his name? The Fargo guy. Yes, William H. Macy, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be that. You're just for the rest of your life, you're you know, you're gonna be wandering around like I was in Grand Turismo 7. They say that. Yeah, that's your one back.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

You have it on the back of your business card if the business cards are even a thing anymore later.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

Yeah, it's gonna be like a hey, it's and it's gonna be like, hey, don't get Frank started on fucking Grand Turismo 7. Just don't don't even bring it up, you know, like at the backyard.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Bring it up, yeah. PlayStation away when he comes into town. Yeah, and like you just put a uh a sheet over it, you drape an old tablecloth over it so he doesn't golf course going like uh you know what? Do I look familiar? Did I ever tell you boys that uh one time he wears the same outfit as he does it, you know, showed up in his his cameo hungry. He's still got the t-shirt. No, he's he just wears it. Yeah, here's my special logo I made with uh Sony.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah, they were gonna make me look like Crash Bandicoot, but they said I was I I would just be too cute looking like that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

They say to be crash bandicote, and that was just no, yeah, that's too crazy. That was too much, too much.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

I already can't keep the ladies away from me now, you know. Oh, yeah, I bet. I couldn't imagine if I had a crash bandicoot tail when I throw down my fat. Jesus, why do we keep going to this? Is everything's going to furries today? It seems like it's why does it keep going to tails? It's uh that's it.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

That's all we have to do. That was enough tails.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Fuck it, doom hole it. Shut the fuck up about uh Grand Turismo 7, Frank.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

But you know what? Until next week, I hope people are safe in the gaming sphere.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Yes, um, don't don't don't don't don't crash bandicoot yourselves for no money, you know what I mean? Zero money and make them make them make them pay you. Make them pay you exactly.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Read read the forms, read the disclosures, don't just check the box.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Until next time, everyone. Um humanity has once again exhausted me. I feel like I have to uh I feel like I have to I have the vapors and I have to lay on my feigning couch now.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

I have the vapors, I feel like I have the vapors, but you know what? I'm gonna go lay in the yard with the ducks that came to visit.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

You can't wait to get out there, those ducks.

SPEAKER_01 35:31

No, because I want the and I might put peanuts out there for the squirrel too. Is there like is there like is there a lake or something near you? No, we have a little creek, it's called the ditch, but then last week they filled it with water. Oh, that's where the it's non-potable water, and so now we have all the life that's on the the ditch. So I'm gonna go down the ditch and just have the vapors, get rid of the vapors.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

I'm gonna take my dog children outside.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Oh, give them love. All right, bye. I just said that's all right, bye.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

I'm out there for I'm out there for ducks and squirrels. Time for ducks.

SPEAKER_04 36:16

Fucking clankers. Fucking clankers. Fucking clankers.